passion is something that lives with u. u cant force some1 to be passionate about something. its like some people are born to be passionate for soccer or gaming or etc etc. to do something doesnt mean u must be passionate about it, which brings me to my main point, why people jsut cant understand my passion lies for soccer, and not fencing. all the crap and such, it didnt used to bother me that much. but nowadays i jsut wan to slack during training, which i always question myself, why do i jsut keep going back there. maybe becos jsut to play soccer with the guys before training. passion is where u put ur heart ur soul into it. no matter how many times u fail at it, u just keep going. fencing to me, holds little place in my mind, i think fs suck, i think the peopel are weird, and i know, u dont train enough, u not gonna win, so for me i dont expect myself to ever get a point for my ranking, let alone win anything. to put it in simplier terms, i think i will never go for competetion again after this year, or actually stop this whole thing. 60 everymonth isnt a small sum, i can put the money to better use.

then comes another point, why do always people question me, whether i train or not, or when i leave training when it just started, or even why i dont fence so and so competetion. u people tell me to try. try what? donating 10bux to fs?..oh please, spare me the agony, i know my abilities, i know i wont go far, cos im not training seriously, so like, quit telling me to do so and so. i dont live ur life, u dont live mine. i am not you, i do not do things like you, and you are not davin, i do not ask u to do things my way, or at least im trying. its about respecting others decision. how many times did i blog about these things, but no1 listens, they just keep go on and on and on about it. in the end, my mind is set already, u cant change it, so jsut live with it.

finally let out steam, enough of rambling can get to sleep already, 5am..phew..must change my body clock back to normal. line up for friday and saturday. friday probably go early for soccer, training, usual stuff. saturday, its either im going soccer or ill jsut stay home. gonna eat dim sum with my family in the afternoon. probably go shopping. thats all. tired..